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Cause I Want It All or Nothing at All

Dear Reader,


I've always had a problem with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It simply didn't occur to me until today. It has always been there, but for some reason it became clear.

"What? Dale, what are you talking about?!"

 Calm down. I am not going to start shouting out blasphemy or come out wanting to leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Quite the contrary, actually. Notice how I said, "I've always had a problem with the Gospel of Jesus Christ"? The Gospel doesn't present problems, it provides solutions. Christ teaches us and gives us answers.

No, the problem is my personality. I like to do things well. When singing or performing with a group, I do it to the best of my ability. When working, I give my hardest efforts. However, when I don't do things well, I don't do them. As I stated at the beginning, I want it all or I want nothing at all. When it comes to the Gospel, that is where I encounter my problem. Living gospel standards and a higher law is hard and I don't do it well at all. Following the logical of "wanting it all," there are sometime where I am on the verge of just giving up on living those standards because I'm not doing very well.

I have to remind you that I didn't realize this until today. In other words, I have been keeping commandments and following gospel principles because of convenience for a good portion of my life. I haven't given my all. I have wanted all the knowledge and all the blessings that come along with the Gospel of Jesus Christ without doing ALL the things that are included in the gospel. For example, my scripture study habits are way below par. If I were giving my all, I would pretty much have the Book of Mormon memorized by now. I have read it enough times in my life.

It would be nice to say that, starting today, I am going to be a perfect disciple of Christ and I am no longer going to be a sinner. Unfortunately, that is not how it works. It is going to be a while before that even comes close to becoming a reality. All I can say for now is that I have a new determination to take away half of the main idea we are talking about. "I want it all." The second half is not an option when it comes to living the standards set forth by Christ and his prophets, both ancient and those today. Those who want nothing at all will get exactly that: nothing.

Hopefully it is clear that I am not perfect. Not even close. However, I do know several things that will never change and that will keep me going no matter what. I know that there is a God who knows me and loves me. Sadly I have to say that I do not know him very well. That will change. I also know that he chooses men on earth to be his servants, the prophets. They tell us more about what God wants us to know. Those prophets have kept records and we use those scriptures to learn more about the nature of God and His son, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ suffered a fate that I can't even imagine to make it possible for us to become better and to be perfect. It is a long process, but I am going to give my all to it.

I want it all, whether it be all at once or daily over dozens of years.

I want it all.

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